I'm Just Fine

Thump, thump there goes my heart, very soon now it will stop.                                                               Blood is flowing down my arms, I don’t want to deal with life no more.                                           Every time they asked me why I would say that I’m just fine, now I admit it was a lie.                        Tick tock goes the clock slowly, slowly my time is running out.                                                                                    

They say it’s selfish, I don’t care, it feels like no one’s ever really there.

You look upset, I feel so sick, how could I put you through this?                                                           We both know you would be better off if I wasn’t here at all.                                                              Free to fly, free to shine. Your life is yours don’t waste it trying to save mine.                                         I can’t live the way you do no matter how much you want me to.                                                                                                                                                                      

Downing glasses one by one. All I want to feel is drunk.                                                                       I’m not happy unless I’m high. Please don’t ask I don’t know why.                                           Screaming, fighting, and punching walls.                                                                                                   Glass shatters, I start to fall. The sun is cold and I feel numb;                                                     Growing tired of this charade. Vision blurring soon I’ll be done.

I can’t forget the mistakes I’ve made.                                                                                                                      

Images flashing before my eyes I hope at least you know I tried.                                                             I see the tears swimming in your eyes; I always seem to make you cry.                                              I’m the cause of all your pain, every heartache I’m to blame.                                                                                                                             

So, this will be my last goodbye.                                                                                                                    I hope that now you can live your life with a smile on your face.                                                                 I won’t be there to bring you down.                                                                                                            I’ll be six feet beneath the ground.

I’m just fine, that’s how you’d start, simple words that break my heart.                                                Reminds me how your shining smile, never touched your deep blue eyes.

Every time you walked away, all the things you’d never say and when I’d ask if you were ok;                         All you’d say, is "I’m just fine".

When I listened in the dark, how your tears tore me apart.                                                                                        I wanted to hold you in my arms; but you would just push me away, then act like you were ok.
Why didn’t you realize, I saw the truth right in your eyes.

When you’d say that you were fine, I could tell it was a lie.
             

 Did you think I didn’t know, you’d try to drown your pain away?

 Like maybe you’d find what you lacked at the bottom of that glass.
You’d say "I don't care what they think". I saw you fade with every drink.
You’d pass out there on the floor, like a million times before.
It hurt that you didn’t see, That I loved you… you’re still killing me.
But when I’d ask you why you’d say everything's just fine.  

All the drugs and all the lies, the long time lapses without goodbyes.                                                                All the screaming, all the fights;                                                                                                                                 Like the Glass shattered on the floor, I watched you break down even more.

You kept hiding in the dark. Did you remember what the sun felt like?

Did you miss it? did you miss anything?

I used to pray that one day you would open your heart.

That one day you would see just how much you meant to me…
  

Now it’s over, but the pain’s still here                                                                                                                        I guess you couldn’t see all you were to me.                                                                                                             Sometimes, I want to hate you, it feels like you never tried.

But at night I still hear you cry, and I can still see that rare smile.                                                                Your sad blue eyes haunt my dreams at night.

I try my best to remember all the good times;

But when I close my eyes all I see are tears in your eyes and hear you saying, "I’m just fine".

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