KayzCorner

Thump, thump there goes my heart, very soon now it will stop.                                                                Blood is flowing down my arms, I don’t want to deal with life no more.                                            Every time they asked me why I would say that I’m just fine, now I admit it was a lie.                         Tick tock goes the clock slowly, slowly my time is running out.                                                                                      They say it’s selfish, I don’t care, it feels like no one’s ever really there. You look upset, I feel so sick, how could I put you through this?                                                            We both know you would be better off if I wasn’t here at all.                                                               Free to fly, free to shine. Your life is yours don’t waste it trying to save mine.                                          I can’t live the way you do no matter

I’m very well acquainted with self-sabotage. It’s like every time things seem to be going right I go into system shut down, slam the brakes, make some kind of foolish mistake, lose myself in   misunderstanding. I’ve had people ask are you afraid of failure. I don’t like failure, but I have grown accustomed to it, it has been my modus Operandi, the theme song of my life. I wear it’s scars like armor to save me from  its sting. Well, maybe if it's not failure it's success, I’m not afraid to fall but to fly, because all my insecurities, failings, sadness has been wrapped around me so long and so tight that it has become a second skin and I’m not sure where it ends, and I begin. I’ve become comfortable in my mediocrity, complacent in my poignant inadequacy because my insecurity has been the most constant companion I have ever had, and I don’t know who I’d be without it because it’s all I’ve ever been. People laugh and say, “well you would be you,” but I