Pride

This past month was National Pride month; for those who do not know what this means, it is basically a month set aside to bring awareness about LQBTQ+ issues, as well as to honor individuals who have contributed to the LGBT+ community by advocating and speaking up about LGBT+ issues. From what I understand it is about being proud of who you are and embracing who you are as a person. There have been conversations, and when I say conversations I am putting it in polite terms, about how if there is an existence of pride month for LGBTQ+ individuals than there should also be a month for heterosexual people. This argument is nothing new, it basically follows the lines of arguments such as “all lives matter vs. black lives matter”, “Meninist vs. Feminist”, etc. However, people who make these arguments are completely missing the point. Pride, does not equivalate discrimination or even dismissal of heterosexuality, just as the black lives movement does not dismiss the idea that all lives have value, that was never the issue on the table; rather, in both these movements specific communities which have been marginalized and discriminated against are given voices and are able to come together as communities in order to try and make change. For some reason, the privileged of society have a habit of seeing equal rights as being in limited supply, perceiving equal rights being enforced and given to others minimizes their rights. However, civil rights are not like a pie, other people having access to their rights does not minimize the rights of others. Rather, rights are more like oxygen in a forest, someone else breathing in air doesn’t steal air from anyone else around them. 

I’m not entirely sure I have a right to talk all that much about pride, or even LGBTQ+ issues; while I am an ally, many individuals wouldn’t necessarily consider me a part of the community. I am asexual, this means that I do not experience sexual attraction to anyone. I am also aromantic, or possibly demiromantic, as I have never really experienced romantic feelings towards anyone either. This was something I struggled with when I was in high school because every book concerning the topic of human sexuality I had ever read in school all made it sound as though all humans experience sexual attraction; there was never an option to not experience such feelings. For the longest time, I mistook friendly feelings as crushes, until upon further reflection of my feelings I realized that they were nothing like what my friends described. After a while, I figured that the fact that I didn’t feel sexual attraction towards men meant that I had to be lesbian; however, upon further evaluation, I realized I wasn’t sexually attracted to women either. I generally found the idea of having sex with another person, of either gender, disgusting and I couldn’t imagine myself in a relationship with another person. This all left me rather confused and embarrassed about myself, I figured there had to be something wrong with me because I didn’t experience sexual attraction. It wasn’t until late in my senior year of high school that I discovered what asexuality was, it was rather a relief, as though suddenly all of the feelings I had been having suddenly made sense. However, I have been very hesitant to share my sexuality, or perhaps the better term would be my lack of sexuality, with my friends and family simply because I realize that it is rare and as such subject to disbelief. Some of the individuals I have told have responded quite well and accepting, while others simply claimed I would grow out of it or that my lack of sexual attraction was the result of my anxiety.  While my experience has caused me some emotional confusion and I have received invalidating statements, I fully realize that I do not and probably will never receive the kind of discrimination that many others in the LGBTQ+ community experience. However, I can’t consider myself heterosexual or straight. Regardless of whether I belong in the community or not, I am very passionate about LGBTQ+ rights and I think that is something any decent human being can get behind because the things about rights is that no one should be able to take them away from anyone and everyone should feel as though they have value just as they are.  

I realize that this is a little late, as today is the end of pride month, but I just felt that I should say something on the topic. Feel free to comment.